As of this week I am back on board as a Benedictine Novice moving toward becoming a Benedictine Oblate. I had been invested as an Novice back in March of 2009, but as it turned out I wasn’t spiritually or emotionally ready for that sort of commitment so my efforts eventually dwindled off and the weeds grew up to overtake the few seeds that my novitiate had planted. In this elapsed time, however, I have continually felt the calling to return. I’ve just been well too adept at excusing the nudgings, finding all kinds of convenient reasons to put it off or ignore it altogether, and pretending I was doing the right thing going along on my own merry way. But then this has been the modus operandi for much of my spiritual life, and my life in general. (more…)
Archive for the ‘A Year of Surrender to God’ Category
There is a traditional Gospel song that most people have heard, and many know the chorus by heart. It is called One Day at a Time. The song is a prayer that asks,
Give me the strength to do everything that I have to do
Yesterday’s gone sweet Jesus
And tomorrow may never be mine
Help me today
Show me the way
One day at a time. (more…)
I had another episode of wrestling with God. God is used to it. Every so often I get frustrated and I want to take God to task for the things that are and are not happening in my life. God just sighs and stiff arms his hand against my forehead while I swing my fists in the gap between us, fussing and fuming and turning red in the face until I exhaust my fit of pique. When from the exertions I’ve collapsed to my knees (a good position to be in when dealing with God) God ascertains that I’ve gotten it out of my system then touches me with His peace and His mercy.
I always feel like a bit of a fool afterward. After all the source of the episode is born of my own lack of faith and trust and has nothing to do with any deficiency on God’s part. But God is always faithful to restore me with his mercy and grace. He brings me back to a place of peace, a place of trust and faith, a place of confidence.
But you, O Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness. Psalm 86:15
Have you ever found yourself feeling like your life had just stopped, no forward momentum, things just not opening up in front of you? I’ve been there. Recently. Actually I’m there now. And when I drill down on it I realize it comes down to one basic element. I’m not doing the things God has put into my hands to do. (more…)
I perceive a problem with Catholics. Not all Catholics. Just a clique that for one reason or another I have been exposed to more lately than I have in the past. They are the ones who put being Catholic ahead of being Christian. They are also the same group who would immediately correct that statement saying they are one in the same; to be Catholic is to be Christian. But they are wrong. It is possible to be Catholic without any notion whatsoever of what it is to be Christian. (more…)
Early in the winter we had a surprise in our home. Every year there are some plants that have to be brought in from outdoors in order for them to make it through the winter. This year when we brought in some young corkscrew willows that are still in pots we unknowingly brought in some surprise guests. (more…)
Another lesson in my one year journey with God is a revelatory one. It is one I would have told anyone I had conquered years ago yet when it came down to where the rubber meets the road all I had managed to do was identify it then shove it aside. I learned that much of my belief system, many of my paradigms, how I viewed God and Jesus, and how I pursued my faith walk were all driven by a deep seated fear. (more…)